


Survivor's Guilt

by 4Jean_Drake7



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alby Is Luke, Annabeth Is Brenda, Brenda Is Annabeth, Canon Compliant, Chiron is Vince, Chuck Is Tyson, F/F, F/M, Frank is Harriet, Harriet is Frank, Hazel is Sonya, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, I'm Still Not Over Newt's Death, Jason is Minho, Luke Is Alby, M/M, Minho is Jason, Multi, Newt (Maze Runner) Dies, Newt is Nico, Nico di Angelo Dies, Nico is Newt, Page 250 (Maze Runner), Rachel is Teresa, Sonya is Hazel, Teresa is Rachel, There Aren't Tags For This, Thomas is Percy, Tyson Is Chuck, Vince is Chiron, Winston is Zoe, Zoe is Winston, but then again, newtmas - Freeform, percy is thomas, pernico - Freeform, sorry in advance, who is?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28379181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4Jean_Drake7/pseuds/4Jean_Drake7
Summary: Percy is Thomas.Nico is Newt.Ever since they made it to the Safe Haven, Percy has felt a large hole in his heart that he can't repair.He decides to respond to Nico's dying letter with his own.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~If I could do it all over again, I would, and I wouldn't change a thing.If I could change one thing, it would be to never do what I did to you. I would do whatever it took to get you here, now, in the Safe Haven.
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Kudos: 11





	Survivor's Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> So I was reading Newtmas fanfics (at 2 AM, like any normal person) and I was reading Letters to Twist Immortality by twinyards and all of a sudden this idea just hits me.
> 
> And I can't find a crossover between the PJO/HOO and TMR fandoms that has Newtmas in it, so I figured I'll make one on my own.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

_Dear Percy,_

_This is the first letter I can remember writing to you. Obviously, I don't know if I wrote any before everything that's happened, but even if it's not the first, it's likely to be my last._

_I want you to know that I'm not scared. Not of dying. But it's more of watching as another me takes my place, and puts you all in grave danger. I can't do that. Not to anyone. But especially not to you._

_I remember the first day we met, when you ran away from us, scared out of your mind. I used to be like that. But we had to learn to adjust._

_I'm so grateful you never did._

_I've always admired your sense of adventure, the way you head into battle and just go with the flow, no plans, just action and a great sense of survival. But then again, I've always admired you._

_How the sun would shine on your hair and create a halo, how your sea green eyes shimmered when you knew you were about to do something dangerous. The way you would treat death like it was something that never wanted to touch you, and you KNEW it. Your bravery, your honesty, your kindness, your loyalty. You._

_I'm so glad we met._

_If I could do it all over again, I would, and I wouldn't change a thing._

_But I leave you with one request. You may never know why I ask you of this, but take care of Hazel for me. Keep an eye on her, make sure she's safe._

_And I want you to stay out of danger as well. Just because I always admired your cockiness, does not mean you get to die over something stupid. Not when you're at the Safe Haven now._

_I love you, Percy._

_Goodbye forever_

_Nico_

* * *

Percy didn't know how long he stared at the three words on the page, didn't know how long he sat at the bonfire with people surrounding him, cheering to their victory. Cheering for the Safe Haven. But it had come at much too high a cost. He lost the one he loved to earn his freedom.

He scanned the crowd for cinnamon hair and golden eyes, and found Hazel on the other side of the campfire with Frank. The two looked happy together. Frank stared at the fire, content and determination sparkling in his eyes, and Hazel looked down at her fiddling hands with a sad smile on her face.

But he could still tell they felt immensely comfortable being next to one another.

After a little debating in his head, Percy decided to move from his spot at the campfire, only meeting eyes with Jason on his way to Chiron's sleeping area. Jason's eyes still looked sulken, a little lost and a little broken. His malnourishment is still prominent, and he looked depressed.

Percy knew why.

On his way, he passed by the giant stone with the dead's names carved out. He tried so hard to not look in the center, where he let Jason carve Nico's name. And he tried not to think about carving Rachel's name into the stone either. So many people were lost, and he couldn't bare to think of their painful deaths.

_"Please, Percy, Please."_

He felt bile and a scream scratch the back of his throat, but he pushed them back, along with the tears that had already started to fall off his cheeks, and continued his way to Chiron's hut.

_"I am a Crank, Jason! I am a Crank. Why can't you get that through your head?"_

Percy felt his knees buckle, and let out a small whimper as he covered his ears.

"Stop it." He whispered to himself, trying desperately to push the memories back. 

_"I'm... not well." A deep, shaky breath. "I appreciate you buggin' shanks coming for me, but this is where it ends. This is where we part ways."_

"Stop it, please." Percy begged. He wanted the voices to stop. To stop reminding him of what Nico had been through. To stop giving him moments in time where Nico was obviously falling apart. He wanted them to stop reminding him he couldn't save him.

_"And you, Percy. You've got a lot of nerve coming here and asking me to leave with you. A lot of shucking nerve. The sight of you makes me sick."_

"Make it stop," Percy whispered, gripping at his tangled hair that surrounded his ears, hoping the pain in his skull will bring him out of his trance.

_“I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those walls and jumped right off.”_

“Please, just make it stop.”

_“Do it before I become one of them!”_

“No.”

_“KILL ME!”_

" ~~No!~~ "

* * *

_Dear Nico,_

_I’m so sorry. I know I helped create the Maze. It was my fault. And in the end that’s who caused your demise. Me._

_I know you wouldn’t want me to regret killing you, but I do. Every single day, every time your name is mentioned, I can’t help but think of you. And how I left you to die. I can never forgive myself for that._

_You would have never even entered the Maze if it was my choice. I never wanted you to get hurt. But you have, and I’m stuck with the guilt of it all._

_You always praised me, stuck by my side, and never gave up on me. No matter what. I realize now I never told you how much you meant to me. You are so much more than just Nico. You held us all together to the very end. You have done so much more than you realize._

_I’m so glad we met._

_If I could change one thing, it would be to never do what I did to you. I would do whatever it took to get you here, now, in the Safe Haven._

_I’ll watch over Hazel for you. I’m not sure why you’d want me to, but I would do anything for you._

_And I’ll live. I’ll keep fighting my inner voices every day if it means you’re watching me, right now, and wait for me patiently. I can wait. Just for you._

_I love you, Nico._

_Until we meet again_

_Percy_


End file.
